Liquorice. You know they say, it's an acquired taste, well I am sure any rat eater will tell you that their disgusting little feet are also quite delicious once you get used to them. Liquorice really has all the signature signs of a food you should not eat. It's black, it's slimy, and to anyone who has not beaten down their bodies reaction to reject this putrid goop it's completely and utterly repulsive.
There is probably no other flavour that can so effectively ruin an otherwise great piece of candy. You bite into some decent enough milk chocolate, but right before you truly feel the great flavour you sense it. A deep acrid sense flowing through your nostrils, there is something amiss here. Something that is not as it should be, and indeed. Some stupid as shit candy maker thought ruining their own survival instinct would not be enough, they wanted to send you to an early death as well and filled the chocolate you thought you would be enjoying with liquorice.
If our world would go barren, the soil be depleted, and after years of starvation there is only one food left in the world, a big steaming pile of liquorice, I would rather break my teeth on salty rocks than devour some of that repulsive imitation manure.
But let us quickly glance into the historical roots of liquorice, how did it come to be? Well I cannot say for certain, but I believe it was during the second world war. Candy was in national demand, yet all the Candy factories were closed. But Stephen Liquor, owner of a shoe factory, needed something to finance his drinking binges. His softer than usual brain produced in a moment of impressive dyslexia liquorice. "You know, Bob?" He said to the bartender at that moment, whose name was not bob, nor anything like it,"You know what would be really delicious, you know what the kids would love? If we boiled our shoes, covered the resulting melted pile in shoe polish and cut it up into bite size pieces. Maybe sell the shoelaces separately. Man I am a fucking genius". Mr Liquor later regurgitated the liquid he had purchased from the bartender, unknowing the taste of his barf would in fact be preferable to that of his newly invented Liquorice.
That is all
Liquorice is the delicious alternative to your generic sugar-cane derivative candy and your dumbed-down milk chocolate (real chocolate is a bitter experience). But don't take my word for it: its aniseedy-goodness is loved by absinthe drinkers worldwide. But that asides, the Indochinese shudder at your ignorance of the edibility of the field rat, and wonder if you love chicken feet as much chicken thighs or breast?
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